Lingering Thoughts

I believe in destiny. I believe in the idea that some aspects of our lives have already been mapped out, planned for. We have the freewill to shape our future and lead our lives to the direction that we want. But if that doesn't turn out to be what was planned for us, then there are powers beyond our own that will take us back to where we should be. A friend of mine just proved to me once again that there is such a thing as "destiny". Long story, but a beautiful one. I might tell it one day.

***

I woke up one day realizing how much Lucas has grown. Sometimes, I am taken aback when he talks to me and suddenly he would sound like a grown up.  Sometimes, he makes me feel like I am the kid and he is the parent when he reminds me not to put my foot up on the chair or to stop biting my nails.  I was amazed when one time I sat down with him to teach him numbers and the next minute I saw him keying the numeric password on the iPad to unlock it--all on his own.

How can I not be keeping up with him? How can I not know where he is at--with his learnings, his progress, the new toys that he likes or new things that he likes to do?  Until now, I haven't made his dentist's appointment, which is now long overdue.  I haven't re-enrolled him in swim class after I took him off the class when we were going away for a month, and I didn't want to pay for the classes if he couldn't go to them.  And now the summer is almost over.  Before I know it, he'll be in school and his time at home will be limited to night and weekends, spring breaks and summer breaks.  And I'll just be one of those parents who take vacations during school breaks, because that's all the time there is to be with their kids.

I've been so busy. I didn't have to be, but I've made myself one. I feel that I have taken on so much that I am now falling short of being a mom and a wife.  I need some time off.  Some serious, extended time off.  I want to stay at home and be a full-time mom and a full-time wife.  I want to be with my son all day everyday, playing, eating and learning with him.  I want to take him to places and we can explore together.  Oh, how nice would that be?

Taking the time off from work will be a tough thing for me to do, but I might just make it happen.

***

Photo:  The Japanese Friendship Garden, San Jose, CA

Little People

It is so delightful to have babies around. They're too cute that you just can't have enough of them.

My nephew has been with us for three days now, and I am so excited that he is staying until after New Year's day. I have to say that since he arrived, there has never been a dull moment in the house. Even when he's sleeping, and most of the time he does, we still get so amused just looking at him, feeling his breath and hearing his soft, delicate snore.

Yesterday, my nephew was having tantrums. He probably slept for only two hours and was crying the whole time. I didn't hear much of it because I was so asleep, but I heard everybody else in the house were awakened by baby's loud and almost nonstop crying. The hardest part is not knowing what's wrong with him and whatever it is that can soothe him down.

My sister said having a baby will really test our patience. But at the end of the day, the joys that the little ones bring to our lives will always outweigh the hard sacrifices. I guess--soon enough, I'll find out myself.

***I enjoyed photographing my nephew's hands and feet. Photos shown in Antique effect (aka Vintage) and B&W***

Peek-a-boo

Another interesting thing about babies is that they always show something new everyday. Today my nephew showed new expressions--playful ones, ones that seem to say something like "peek-a-boo" or "really?!" or "i hear you!" or "what did you say???". He doesn't smile yet, but that is something I can't wait to see him unveil.

Nathaniel John

It is such a joy to see a new-born baby, especially when the baby is somebody special to you.

Nathaniel "Nathan" John was born on November 24th, 2008. He was born to my sister Lorelie and her husband John Mayel. I was there to witness the very moment he came into this world and no true words could ever describe how powerful that moment was.

Nathan is now my favorite subject. When he's around, I always keep the camera in close proximity so I'm always ready for a good photo opportunity with this adorable little guy!