A New Chapter

It is March 13, 2020 now. I logged in to revisit my old blog only to find that I had a draft I never published.  An entry I drafted nearly 6 years ago, when I learned about my second pregnancy.  I don't know why I never published it.  Maybe it's because I never started that blog that was meant to document my second pregnancy and the second baby. Now, the second baby is already 5 years old. She is a beautiful little girl, my beautiful little girl--as perfect as I could have ever wished for. So now, I feel compelled to publish this post, to remind me of an unfinished business. I don't know if I'll ever finish it.  But I visited this blog to start yet another one--another journey I wish to document. A journey I started two years ago that I hope to continue for a long, long time--my running journey.

***

It has been a year--wow, exactly a year since my last blog.  I had abandoned this space, but not without regrets. Oh, I have so much I wanted to write about. So much to share. But I struggled to find the time and the motivation to write.

Yes, I've lost motivation. Couldn't find much inspiration either. My life has been a routine, and when it is, sometimes the excitement goes away. But don't get me wrong--I am no less happy. I've never been happier my entire life and there is nothing I would change. I love excitement, but as I get older, I'm kind of loving the routine and the normalcy of life.  I am loving the routine my new little family has given me. I've been busier than ever, and I am loving it. But sometimes, that means there are things I can no longer do, even if I want to.

But now I have a good reason to write again--an inspiration I couldn't let pass. A new journey that is so full of promise. One that will change my life forever. Our lives. My family's lives. And I want to document this journey, just as I did before.

I am expecting baby number two. Yes, finally! I wish he/she had come sooner. I wish we hadn't waited this long. But here we are, and this time I must say--while I love the normalcy, I am loving this kind of excitement more!

Follow my journey here.

The Ride

Today, I did my longest ride yet--33 miles in 2.5 hours.  I was so proud of myself until I stopped at the  General Store.  The General Store is a landmark in a charming little town called Nicasio Valley. Nicasio boasts a number of dairy farms, cheese factories, wineries and a magnificent view of the Nicasio Reservoir, the biggest water source here in Marin. It is a reservoir but it sure looks like a giant lake.

The Nicasio route is very popular to cyclists because of its elevation, winding roads, bike-friendly neighborhoods and wonderful views. Some riders from other cities would even drive here to ride in the Nicasio route. Luckily, I live in the area, and Nicasio is just a 30-mile ride for me back and forth.

The General Store is a very popular rest stop for cyclists.  You can buy pretty much anything from the small grocery store.  There is cheese tasting if you want to sample the local cheeses.  And there are a couple of nice restaurants next to it if you feel like stopping for lunch before hitting the road again.

Now back to my real story...

So I was beaming with pride when I stopped at the General Store for a water refill. I looked at my phone GPS and thought to  myself, "Wow! By the time I get home, I would have biked 33 miles. I feel really good right now!" But that was only until I met all the other riders who, like me, stopped and rested around the General Store.  A group of riders ranging from the 20's to the 50's came all the way from San Francisco. I spoke to one of them and learned that they were training for an AIDS charity ride that will start from San Francisco all the way to Los Angeles! And for that day alone, they need to ride 70 miles! There was also this lady who parked her bike next to mine. She looked at her monitor and said "67 miles". I couldn't believe what I heard so I asked her, "67 miles??? Where did you ride from?" She told me she lives in Mill Valley and she rode all the way from there and into San Rafael, Tomales Bay, Marshall and back.  By the time she gets back to her home, she would have biked at least 100 miles.  And oh, she should be at least 60 years old!

I felt such an amateur, but I realized that in fact, I am. I've only had my bike for less than a year now.  Who knows how long these people have been riding?  And I must remind myself that it makes no sense comparing me against riders in a different echelon.  Maybe I'll get there someday.  If I keep on riding.

I reminded myself of one of the things I believe in--that if I want to be somebody someday, I have to start somewhere. And I made myself a deal to start a commitment.  Whenever possible, I will do at least one big ride and one little ride a week.  A little ride is no more than 20 miles on a weekday, and a big ride is no less than 20 miles on a weekend.  And I will try to increase my big ride by 5 miles each week.

If I do this, I should see myself doing 70 miles for a days ride in my not so distant future.  Hopefully before I turn 60!

Torta di Mandorla

I have nearly 3 pounds of almond flour at home.  These were leftovers from last November when I made so many Macarons for my nephew's birthday.  I was afraid they would go bad so I quickly searched for recipes requiring almond flour, thinking it has to be one for Almond Cake.  I love anything made from almonds, Macarons included.  I used to buy this almond tart at a local grocery and bakery in Corte Madera, but they don't have them anymore.

Gladly, I found this recipe for Torta di Mandorla (moist Almond Cake) and it's from one of my favorite recipe blogs. This blog is also where I got the recipes for my Lemon Pound Cake and Pumpkin Bread.

The cake turned out really good!  It was moist, very aromatic and light to the taste.  The best part of it though was the browned-butter glaze. It was head-spinning delicious! The nuttiness of the browned butter went amazingly well with the toasted almonds which I topped the cake with! I could eat the glaze by itself and I'd be happy!  Yes, it's that good!

The author of the blog, Julia, said this may be the best cake she's ever had! Maybe not for me. I've had better ones.  But this recipe is definitely a keeper. And the cake?  Definitely one that I'll make again and serve my guests with!

Surprised At 40

My cousin J just turned 40!  Wow, time has really gone by unbelievably fast.  While I was putting this collage together for her surprise party, I thought about her and how she was in her younger years.  I wish I had photos of her back then to include in the collage, but every memory I have of her is all in my head.

My sister and I grew up admiring her.  She was [and still is] very smart. She was very popular in school.  She always looked nice--tall, slim, neat and very well-groomed. Her hair so black, straight and shiny. She walked so gracefully and turned heads everywhere she went. When we would go back to our parents' hometown during fiesta celebrations and she would be out and about, people--including myself, would stop whatever we're doing to stare at her.  I don't know if she knew this back then but that was how it was!

We lost contact when her family moved to Cebu. I can't recall when I saw her next, but what I clearly remember was how stunned I was at how much she's grown. She was even more beautiful and she looked radiant!  I remember feeling so embarrassed in front of her, but she was always so kind, grounded and very approachable. She had a way of making us feel comfortable in front of her and her family. When I moved to Cebu myself, I saw her more, but not very often.  I remember going to the movies with her. We watched Moulin Rouge together. I had already seen the movie once but I watched it again so I could watch it with her. I remember going out with her and sharing a crepe at East West Cafe in the IT Park. I remember meeting her at Tinder Box when she was trying to get over a painful break-up.  I think that was the start of our stronger bond. We communicated regularly since then and it went on even after I moved to the US.  She followed about four years later.

These days, we still don't see each other very often, but we keep each other posted through texts, occasional phone calls, Facebook and Instagram.  It is a bummer that she doesn't blog anymore. She is such an amazing writer and photographer, and I so love reading her!  But I know she is out there, living her life, managing a household, being the mom and wife that she wants to be, realizing some dreams.

She's had her share of challenges, but who doesn't?  Yet I know she's a fighter and she can get through just about anything.  She has become a very private person, so she doesn't share that much anymore--not to me, at least.  Maybe she opens up to those closer to her, and I hope she does.  I wish her happiness--lots of it. Because she deserves it!

So on her 40th birthday, despite her saying that she doesn't feel like celebrating, I just had to celebrate her.  My aunt, my sister and I, with the help of two friends from afar, planned her surprise party.  I got her husband to cooperate too and he did really well at guarding our secret plan.  In the end, it turned out to be the surprise celebration we had hoped it to be.  The best part of it was the look of genuine happiness in her face. It will definitely be another one of those happy memories that I will have of her.

I hope she knows it in her heart that I care for her and she will always have a support person in me. That I love her like a sister and will always have her back.  That I will always celebrate her victories and share her pains.  I wish that she will always remain the kind, spirited, gracious and beautiful person that she is.  May our good Lord bless her today and always!

Here's sharing more photos of her surprise birthday celebration.

My Credo

I believe in a good cup of coffee in the morning.

I believe that a kiss can mean so much more than just affection.

I believe that a little sacrifice today will reward us tomorrow.

I believe that I can never have too many pairs of shoes.

I believe that at least an hour everyday all to myself is critical to my well-being.

I believe that I can pretty much do everything in moderation.

I believe in God, in faith and religion.

I believe that God created the world so beautiful for us to see, and so

I believe in finding the means to travel and see the world.

I believe that if I want to be somebody someday, I have to start somewhere.

I believe that what I've become is a product of my choices, not of circumstances.

I believe that a conversation is the best stress-reliever.

I believe in doing it now before it's too late.

I believe that the best way to change others is to change the way I deal with them.

I believe that success if not for everyone, but happiness is.

I believe that I am sincerely and utterly in love.

I believe that he and I can do things better if we do it together.

I believe that we should never stop complimenting each other.

I believe that there is always time for just about anything and everything.

I believe that being a little crazy is alright!

Back In The Saddle

I didn't ride much during the winter.  It's not because I found it too cold, but it was just hard to find the time to ride. I had more travels in December than I had any other months in the year. Then I had my surgery, which prevented me from riding for weeks.  And yes, it was cold too.

But now, I am so happy to be back in saddle! We've re-attached the bike rack on the car so I can take the bike to places during the weekends. I am excited to be riding regularly again! I look forward to warm and long days ahead--the kind that will give me enough daylight to still be out riding after a days work.

Celebrating Love, Life and Christianity

One of the big events we had recently was a triple celebration--my birthday (January 5th), my nephew Matt's christening (January 6th) and my parents' 40th wedding anniversary (January 7th).  At first, I thought of sending my parents to a getaway for their anniversary but when my brother decided to get his new baby baptized at the same time, we decided to get together for a celebration and have family and friends over. It was small and intimate, but memorable.

We had a renewal of vows ceremony for my parents following my nephew's baptism. This part, to me, was the most memorable. I wept. I couldn't hold back tears while witnessing my parents reaffirm their love and commitment to each other.  The last 40 years for them was certainly not all bliss. There too were plenty of pain and sacrifices. But my parents battled through them with their love and respect for each other, which for so many years I have witnessed and admired.

I was overwhelmed with gratitude that day, and recalling the event now makes me feel grateful again. Grateful to God for blessing my parents with 40 wonderful years. Grateful for the love that my parents have for each other--the same love we were showered with while we were growing up. I hope God will bless them with another decade, and more.

I'll be in my seventh year of marriage this year. I can say with confidence that I am blissfully and earnestly happy with my marriage, but it'll be a long, long time before we get to 40. My parents' success is a hard act to follow. I can only wish we accomplish half of it!

Inspirations

I can't believe my last blog entry was done nearly five months ago. I really have neglected this space, which I hold so dear. One of my New Year's resolutions this year is to blog more often, at least once a week. Clearly, I haven't fulfilled that. And I think I may need to rearrange my routine to make time for blogging.

Truth be told, I believe that I am currently in my happiest.  I have everything I need--a simple yet comfortable life, a family I love and who love me back, a wonderful husband I simply just adore, a beautiful little boy who makes me laugh every single day, a promising career and a few hobbies that keep me challenged and feed my passion for creative things. One day, I promised myself to document my happy times, so that when the sad times come--and I know they will one day, I'll have something to look back to and recall to keep my spirits high.  Oh, I have so many stories to tell, experiences and thoughts to share. I now wish I had written them all up!

I don't write much, but I write when I'm inspired. I've had many inspirations along the way, and now they are starting to build up and pushing me to write this entry. There's that birthday message from Aileen saying she wishes I blog more--I have not forgotten about that. There's my husband who reminds me that my "neglected blog" has started fishing spam comments. And then there's this nice message from a stranger telling me she came across my blog through a google search for a recipe and that she has since been inspired by me.  I had no idea people were even reading my blog, let alone be inspired by it.  What a joy this is to know!

So I am making a renewed commitment to my blog.  I will visit this more often. I will make it more active. I will share more and be more inspired by the other wonderful people I read and follow.

I will find the time to write. I will document my joys, and sorrows too. I will preserve the memories in this little space, and one day I know I will thank myself for doing so.

***

Photo:  My 1-month old little nephew, Matheson.  It was I who gave him this name.

Happy Day

Today is a happy day. We are reunited with Ma and Pa again. They are back here in the US to visit and await the birth of my nephew--my brother's second son. They'll be staying with us for about a month before heading out to Missouri, where my brother lives.

I am just happy to see them once again, happy that God granted them a safe trip, and happy that God has given them good health so they are still able to travel. Lucas and Nathan loves them and are thrilled to be with them.

They will be at my brother's on Thanksgiving Day, but we are going to be spending Christmas together, and New Year's too. They'll be around on my birthday and days later we will celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary.  Exciting times are ahead of us!  There is so much to look forward to!

Lost Too!

Speaking of lost, a man whom we once knew as a good shepherd has gone astray.

A scandal erupted in our parish this week. Imagine our shock when we were informed at mass on Sunday that one of the three priests in our beloved parish of St. Isabella has been arrested and in jail for inappropriate behavior.  Without knowing any details, the first thing that came to my mind was, "this better not involve a minor!" Thank God, it didn't (as far as we know)!

The story is now all over the local news. If you want to know more, read here.  I would only caution you that it's not a nice read at all! And for those of you who respect and value the sacredness of the priesthood, you might find this sickening!

This was not only a big blow to us parishioners of St. Isabella, this was a huge disappointment to our Filipino community here. Yes, he is a Filipino priest, to make matters worse.

I know we're all humans. We make mistakes and we all have our limitations. I am in no position to judge. But there is such a thing as common sense and a human's ability to distinguish right from wrong. I can only wish that he had used it before doing what he did. We all have our share of sacrifices, and I know that committing to a vocation like his requires a lot of it. I only wish he had sacrificed a little more for the greater good.

May God pardon him, be with him in this trying time and lead him to a better path.  I pray.

Lost

I got lost biking a few days ago. I was exploring trails and found one on the internet that looks like a scenic one.  I followed it. A few miles later, I found myself at a dead end of a road, right at the foot of a hill.  I've already biked for 40 minutes and going back would take me another 40 minutes, which I thought was going to be too long. I pulled out my iPhone to see if there was another route I could take only to realize that there was no cell phone reception in that area.  Crap!

Then I found a hiker who said she lives close by. I asked if she knew of another way to go to Lucas Valley Road (the part of the trail that supposedly leads to home).  I am one who is never shy about asking directions. She said it was very close. It's on the other side of the hill, and the quickest way to get there was through the hill. Otherwise, I'd have to go back.  

So I had a choice between riding back or hiking through the hill with my bike in tow. That afternoon, I was supposed to pick up Lucas from day care so I chose the latter, which was supposedly a quicker option. I was wrong. The hike turned out to be miserable. I went through dirt roads, boulders, gravel and very steep paths, I slid down so many times!  I was not even halfway yet I was so exhausted. A mountain biker passed by and wished me a good ride. I tried to respond but no voice came out of me. I had completely dried out my throat! It was so hot that day and ran out of water. It then dawned on me that the trail I took was a mountain bike trail, designed for off-road riders--pro level at that. It was too late to go back. I had to go on. 

Long story short, I managed to reach the top of the hill and what a relief it was! I survived! And not only did I find a perfect view of San Rafael, Marin County, the East Bay and San Francisco from afar (photo above), I also got my cell phone reception back, which allowed me to call the husband and ask him to pick up Lucas. Going downhill from up there wasn't as bad as going up. 

It was that time when I questioned myself, "what on earth did you get yourself into?!" It was also that time when I realized that I live in such a beautiful neighborhood that ought to be explored more. 

Braised Oxtail

Once upon a time, we had a favorite restaurant called Northbay. It was a Chinese place but they made both traditional and non-traditional Chinese food so good.  My former co-workers and I used to frequent the place. It was our "overtime hangout" (we would always go there for dinner when we work overtime) because they closed late.

Everything there was so good, we probably tried their entire menu selection. So when they closed their doors some years back, we were so sad. We heard they opened a place in San Francisco but until now, we have yet to find them. Until now, we haven't found a place like them. And until now, we still remember their special dishes and how good they were.

One of our favorites was the Braised Oxtail in Red Wine sauce. They served the dish in a clay pot. It usually took a long time to cook, but we would wait for it anyway.  This was one of the dishes I clearly remember, and one that I miss the most.

Today, I saw that I had oxtail in the freezer. I usually get some and make them into a soup. But today was a very warm day, I didn't feel like making soup. I immediately remembered the oxtail dish at Northbay and thought it was time to give it a try. I remembered it tasted a bit like "Humba" (pork stew) and a bit like "Adobo", but it definitely had the taste of red wine. The taste of ginger was pretty prominent in the dish, and I thought maybe lemongrass would give it more aroma. So to make this dish, I had to combine the ingredients of Humba and Adobo and add the ingredients that I know should be there.

So here's the recipe that I came up with. I have to save this somewhere because I am definitely making this again. This was a huge success and I think I made the husband very happy.

You'll need:
About 3 lbs of oxtail
4 cups water
4 tbsp. soy sauce
1 cube beef bouillon
freshly ground pepper
ginger
2 tbsp vegetable oil
garlic (1 whole bulb), peeled and chopped into big pieces
yellow onion (1 whole bulb), chopped into big pieces
1 stalk lemongrass (tanglad), chopped into 4-inch pieces
green onions, chopped into 1-inch pieces
1 large carrot, cubed
2/3 cup red wine
2 tbsp oyster sauce
2-3 tbsp refined or brown sugar

In a pressure cooker, bring the oxtail to a boil with 4 cups of water, 2 tbsp of soy sauce, sliced ginger, beef bouillon and freshly ground pepper (sorry, I don't measure pepper--just put as much as you want). Pressure-cook until the oxtail is fall-off-the-bone tender, about 20 minutes. Set aside.

To make the sauce, heat 2 tbsp of vegetable oil. Cook the garlic, onions and lemongrass until golden brown. Add the carrots. Add soy sauce, red wine and 1 cup of the beef broth from the pressure cooker and simmer until reduced by nearly half. Add the cooked oxtail to the sauce and continue to simmer. Add oyster sauce and sugar. You may add more sugar until you achieve desired sweetness. Add the green onions last.

The fat from the oxtail will usually make the sauce thicker, but if it doesn't, add a little bit of corn starch dissolved in water until you achieve desired thickness of the sauce.

Discard the lemongrass before serving. By that time, it would have served its purpose.

Finally, serve with rice and enjoy dinner with people you love! :-)

Rafael

Today, I made a new commitment. Commitment to becoming active--to living a healthy life. Commitment to exploring our beautiful neighborhood, city and county.

Along with that commitment came Rafael, my new road bike. I've considered riding since summer of last year, but I waited and waited and waited, hoping that I can convince the husband to join me in this journey. I didn't think I was going to be successful if I ride alone. I know it was going to be more fun if done with a peer, partner or a group. But after a year of convincing, sometimes renting bikes so we could both try riding together, he is still not sold to the idea of biking. He said he would rather just run. He used to be a runner back in the days.

Finally, I just made up my mind to just go for it. My will is strong and I think I can be in this for the long haul even if I were to do this journey alone.  Besides, it was quite a big investment to acquire Rafael. I have to recoup that investment by riding as often as I can and getting the most mileage out of him.

Today, I took Rafael out for our first ride. We were out for only less than an hour but it was awesome. He is so light yet sturdy and smooth. It almost felt like we were off the ground instead of on it. It's only day one, but Rafael is already proving to be one great buddy of mine!

On Wedding Photography

I've known it before, but now I am even more convinced--

--that Wedding Photography isn't for me.

Two weekends ago, I was second-shooting for my cousin J, who covered her first wedding gig.  When she first asked me to shoot with her, I said "Sure!" without any hesitation.  It was not because I was confident in my ability to do a good job, but because it was a privilege for me to shoot next to my cousin on a real life event.

I have never believed in my ability to do wedding photography, and I thought that maybe the experience would change my mind about it.  I was wrong.

Those who have done this I think will agree with me that it's laborious, stressful and exhausting. But those who have the passion for it will find a way to make it fun and rewarding. That's the part I couldn't do. At the end of the day, my entire body ached and it went on for days. And while others would say, "it was worth it", I was thinking "I would never do this again".

I'd say half of my photos were fine. The other half were bad and some were just simply unusable. The photos I'm sharing here are among those I consider the good ones. I only hope I didn't disappoint my cousin too much!

I was assigned to the groom (thank God!) during the preparation, so most of my photos were that of the groom and his men.

The groom's dad was so much fun to photograph. He loved the camera and he was very cooperative, especially with the "acting" part (not all of the candid shots were really "candid". I had to let them act out some of them). I found it a little too uncomfortable at first being in the room with all men, but the old man made me feel very at ease.

I must say he's a good-looking groom.

The groom, like most, didn't really need so much time to prepare. So I still had a little bit of time with the bride too.

After the wedding (before the reception), we had to drive an hour (each way) to a winery for the bridal party photoshoot. My cousin and I didn't think it was a good idea and she tried hard to convince the bride not to do it. But the bride insisted and because it's her day, we had to let her be. We ended up with some good shots in a very nice setting, but the couple ended up having really upset, starving guests!

My take at Pandan Flan

This weekend, I had to give in to my craving for something sweet, egg-y and creamy.  I thought of making some custard cake or tart, but suddenly thought of that really delicious Pandan Flan that I had at Crimson Resort in Mactan last month.

I like a good Leche Flan, but I try to avoid the ones that are too rich (unfortunately, most of them are). But when we were at Crimson, they had, among the many dessert varieties at their buffet, a leche flan with a twist.  It was Pandan flavored and it was sinfully good. It was creamy but light, melted in your mouth and had just the right amount of Pandan flavor in it--not too aromatic or overpowering.  I vowed to make my version of it.

Pandan Flan, along with other desserts from Crimson Resort in Mactan, Cebu.

So here's my take at Pandan Flan or Pandan-flavored Leche Flan.  It turned out really good, but next time I might make it a little lighter. This was so rich and creamy, I can even taste the calories in it.  I might make the caramel a little less sweet too.

Freshly baked. I was so happy to see these babies come out of the oven. They smelled so good!

But overall I was so happy with this. I'm already thinking about serving this for dessert the next time I have the neighbors over.

Finished product. Creamy, rich and delicious flan.

If you want to try it yourself, here's the recipe:

8 egg yolks
2 whole eggs
1 can evaporated milk (if you want the flan to be lighter, try to substitute this with whole milk or 2%)
1 can sweetened condensed milk

1 cup refined or light brown sugar
1/4 cup water

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.

Mix the custard ingredients (eggs and milk) well in a glass bowl. Do not use an electric mixer. It will cause the mixture to bubble and will result in plenty of holes or craters in your flan. Just mix well with a whisk until smooth. Set aside.

Make the caramel. Mix the sugar and water and heat over medium-high while continuously stirring until it reaches caramel consistency (it should be light brown in color).  Place ramekins on a roasting pan. Divide the caramel among your ramekins, making sure the bottom is completely covered. Once the caramel hardens, pour the custard/flan mixture in each ramekin.

Pour boiling water in the roasting pan, about 1-inch deep.  Cover the roasting pan with aluminum foil and poke holes on it so steam can come out. Bake in the oven for 40 minutes.

Chill your flan before serving. Run a knife through the sides of the ramekin and invert the flan into a plate to serve.  Top with fruit--raspberry or strawberry makes for a good garnish.  Enjoy!

Success

I must give myself a pat on the back.  I've been living a healthy lifestyle for almost two years now, did lose weight as a result of it and maintained my weight at goal.

Ok. I did slip once in a while. Earlier this year, I went back up to 130 lbs.  But I quickly shed the pounds off before it went out of control.  And now I must admit, rather proudly, that I look fantastic in my vacation photos.

So as I was browsing through our photos earlier today, while I had my brother giggling on the phone [my siblings and I do that all the time--look at photos together while on the phone and laugh, make fun of, or compliment ourselves], I couldn't help but feel ecstatic about how my body has changed.

Yes, those are my abs right there! I didn't cut my head in Photoshop and put it in someone else's body, or vice versa.  I do actually have a 6-pack now (I did count the packs and there are indeed six of them, hehe), would you believe it? Well, it's in there somewhere, I promise.  And sometimes it shows, like in this photo, when I get lucky and some amount of lighting, shadows and the right angle, along with some holding of breath, work together to give me such a flattering look!  Of course I hold my breath to tuck my tummy in!  Heck, even models with perfect bodies do the same when they have their photos taken.  Why shouldn't we?

Like my friend Chelo who recently blogged about her ongoing success with weight loss, I owe this look to exercise (mine is just cardio and pilates), a balanced diet, and discipline--lots and lots of discipline.  It helps to have a disciplined husband who knows exactly what "moderation" is. He inspires me too!  I have yet to do better with getting the right amount of sleep, but I'll get there.

I am inspired--yesterday by Chelo's blog and today by this photo.  I am beyond motivated.  I am committed to be in it for the long haul, for life.  It took a lot of hard work to get to this, turning back is no longer an option.

Join me in raising a glass.  To being healthy and looking good!!!  :-)

A Lovely Weekend

When my long vacation was over, it felt like my entire summer was over too.  But just as I got my vibe back to working, I realized that I don't really need to take a long time-off to feel like vacationing again. Afterall, we are not even halfway through the summer here. And all I need are the weekends to enjoy it, or what's left of it.

There are so many things to do and so many places to see here in the summer.  One of our favorites is Lake Tahoe. It's only a 3-hour drive away from our place. The idea of Tahoe didn't really appeal to me at first, especially after coming back from a long tropical vacation. But we had a raincheck on a cabin up in Tahoe from last Christmas. We were planning on a ski trip back in the winter but cancelled it at the last minute after we learned that my sister's father-in-law had died and they had to make an emergency trip back to the Philippines. My brother-in-law is from Ilocos.

My booking for a 4-bedroom cabin was non-refundable, but luckily the owner agreed to give us a raincheck that we could use anytime the place was vacant.  I almost forgot about it until last week. The owner emailed me that she was selling the place and suggested we use the cabin soon. Once she sells it, we could no longer use our raincheck.  So, without much planning, my sister and I and our families decided to drive up to Tahoe for the weekend.

The nice thing about impromptu trips is that you don't have everything planned to the minute. We did have a rough plan of how to spend the weekend there, but we weren't holding ourselves to a schedule. We did what we felt like doing. We were flexible. We had only one goal--to relax and enjoy Tahoe in the summer.  But there are so many ways to enjoy summer in Tahoe. You could go hiking, biking, boating, swimming, gambling, sightseeing or just have a picnic by the lake. I am happy to report that we did everything except hiking and gambling--all in one weekend!  And in the end, we had a lot of fun and we still came home relaxed.

Will share more photos soon.

Another boy!

I am so happy for my brother and my sister-in-law.  They are having another boy!  I'll be welcoming a new nephew soon--in November, puhon.

I had wished for a girl in our family since all of us siblings, and my cousin J, have boys.  But we're all equally happy with another boy. At least we won't have to buy new stuff!

I am also [secretly] envious. I wish it was me pregnant and going on maternity leave soon. I like the idea of staying home and taking care of babies. I like the thought of kissing the husband goodbye in the morning and throwing my arms at him when he comes home from work. Sometimes, I dream of that life!

But that's not the life I live, so having the opportunity to do that and be that, even for just three months, is like living a dream.

Rebirth

Wow! I can't believe it's been two months and I hadn't posted a thing. I mean, really? In the past, I've seen myself so many times starting something new and never finishing it. Well, it happens. But there are three things that I promised myself I would keep going with: photography, exercise and blogging. Sadly, blogging is slowly falling off the list and is hanging by a very fine, delicate thread.

It annoys me when the husband tells me that I spend way too much time on Facebook. My initial reaction, which I don't say to him, is always, "Well, aren't we the same? I see you on Facebook a lot too! Just because you don't post anything doesn't mean you are not there lurking!" Really!  Sometimes he is even more updated about my friends than I am. And when I tell him about something interesting that I see on FB, more often than not, he's already seen it. So go figure!

Ok, yes. I admit I'm being defensive.

But I'm afraid he's right about something, and I feel that I have to change that. Free time isn't a lot so when I spend too much time on one thing, another gets neglected. I would rather spend more time in this space and less time on Facebook. And here why...

1. Blogging tells me so much more about my friends than what I can see on their wall, their photos and shout-outs.
2. Blogging allows me to read and think and learn. I feel the exact opposite with Facebook.
3. I feel that I have to think three times before posting something on my wall or making a comment: "Is this the right thing to say? Will I offend anyone? Will somebody else see this other than the ones I'd like to show this to?" With blogging, I feel more empowered to say what I want to say and nobody will judge me.
4. Facebook doesn't challenge me at all. Writing does. And when I overcome a challenge (meaning I actually complete a blog post, hehe), the satisfaction that comes with it is so much better than any nice thing said to me or about me on Facebook.

When I met Aileen, she told me I should blog more. She said I write well, which I don't hear a lot from other people. I find writing so difficult, which is why I don't like it. But when Aileen Siroy--one who has a travel column and a celebrated blog, and one who has been published quite a bit--tells you to write, how can you not be flattered?  I've been thinking about what she said ever since she said it, and I can't help but be inspired once again.

Chichi paved the way for this blog to be created. Now, Aileen is giving it a rebirth!  Thank you to both of you!  More to come from me... I promise.

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Photo: A nice gift from Aileen.  Thank you, Ai! :-)

Daycare

I dropped Lucas off at daycare for the first time today.  Grandma Nena (his nanny) is going back to the Philippines for a long vacation and we have at least a month before it's our turn to go.

The good news is, I found a daycare that I really like and it is operated by our next-door neighbor, who is such a wonderful person. So yes, Lucas' daycare is just right across the street from us. If ever he cries and screams, maybe we can even hear him from our house.

The bad news is, Lucas understood that we are going to leave him there for the day and after almost three years of being cared for in his own home where he has developed his little comfort zone, it was hard to get him to agree to the new arrangement.

It was heartbreaking to let him go. We tried to have a conversation with him last night to make him understand why we had to do what we plan to do. But he insisted that we (Charles and I) shouldn't go to work so we can be with him. And when he said "I need my Mama and Papa" with all seriousness, he just rendered me and his dad speechless!

I began to question myself again and whether or not my decision to work full-time is the right one. I am still convinced it is right, but have I really taken a hard look at what I am doing, how I am spending my day-to-day and whether or not my time is carved out right so there is good balance between work and family?  Maybe Charles is right when he said I have way too many extra-curricular activities. I am trying to do everything and be good at everything. In the end, I'm afraid, I might end up becoming good at everything except being a good mom.

We decided that sending Lucas to daycare was a better choice than finding a replacement nanny. It is a no-brainer. He needed to be out there and start spending time with other kids. He will be going to preschool soon and it is good for him to start being exposed to the routine. We thought daycare would give him that early exposure.

This morning, Lucas willingly held my hand as we walked across the street towards his daycare. I stayed there for a while hoping he'd get comfortable with the other kids and would happily bid me goodbye. But that didn't happen. While there, he continued to hold my hand and didn't want to let go. He liked the place and all the toys that were new to him, but he wanted me to stay and play with him. He begged for me not to go to work.

The plan was to make sure he sees me leave so he won't ask for me. But instead, the babysitter and the other kids, who by the way were extremely sweet to him, had to distract him so I could sneak out of the place.  I can't wait to learn how it all went after that.  I'm sure he is fine and that he'll blend in well with the other kids. My little man is a trooper and he'll find a way to be amused.  But it broke my heart to see him sad.  And now I realize how other parents feel when they send their kids to school for the first time.