Worth

"to trusting that the end is worth it, and never letting go of its promise..."

--Kevin to newlyweds Rebecca and Justin, ABC's Brothers and Sisters

How do you know if something is worth sacrificing for?  How do you decide whether to go for it or walk away?  How do you distinguish right from wrong when it doesn't appear so apparent?

I guess you'll never really find the answers elsewhere other than within yourself.  You'll just know it when it's right.  You'll feel it.  Your instincts will tell you.

I am very happy with my life now--with where I am and what I've become.  But despite that, I still sometimes wonder, "what if...".  What if I had chosen this and not that?  What if I had gone this way and not that way?  What would have happened if I had never left home?  What if I married a different guy?

I guess I'll never really know the answers to these.  And I'm sure that some choices I didn't make would have yielded better results.  But if I were given another chance to do things all over again, there is nothing--absolutely nothing I'd want to change.

***

Photo:  A lovely couple at their engagement shoot.  They're my cousin J's clients--I had the opportunity to shoot with her that day.

Unexpected

I am one of those who anticipate things.  I prefer to know ahead, to foresee what's to come and be prepared for it.  Not knowing makes me uneasy, despite knowing that there are things we can never predict.

But sometimes good things come.  And the more unexpected they are, the more meaningful they become.

Today, I received something unexpected.  A nice surprise from somebody who was moved by an act of mine -- an act that I never thought mattered much to anyone.

But to this person, it made a huge effect and she made certain it will not go unrecognized.

To me, it's just one of those things that maybe I do deserve but never saw coming.  Nonetheless, the unexpected nature of the reward was what made it very special.

This person may never have the chance to read my blog, but I hope she knows that deep in my heart, I am truly grateful!

***

Photo:  One fine afternoon at San Francisco Bay (this photo reminds me of a scene from the movie City of Angels)

At A Loss

I wish I am gifted with a talent to write.  I wish I can easily put down to words all the thoughts that are running through my head right now.

I have been waiting for this one opportunity to sit down and write everything I want to write.

But I'm at a loss.  I could not compose my thoughts and translate them into words.

The hub once asked why I am not blogging anymore.  I don't really know.

It's not that I don't have time.  I can always make time.

Maybe I just don't have anything interesting to say.   My days are not boring but there's nothing eventful or unique about my days that's worth sharing.

Maybe I don't have any photos to share.  Yes, that's true.  I haven't been taking photos of anything other than Lucas.  And I don't want people to get tired of seeing Lucas.

I am in dire need of an inspiration!

***

Photo:  A disposal cup from Caribou Coffee--my favorite coffee place in Minnesota.  This cup has inspirational messages written all over it.  This is a cup-full of inspiration--just what I need.  Whoever designed this cup is a genius!

Rainy Days & Sundays

It's a rainy day Sunday today.  Sun's not coming out anytime soon.  Unlike what it does to other people, a rainy day Sunday makes me happy.  It gives me an excuse to bundle up and cuddle in the warm, perhaps sleep the entire afternoon or watch a series of movies.  Oh, maybe spend some time blogging!

It's been a while since I had a lazy afternoon like this.  We're always out on weekends.  We try to get Lucas out whenever we can.  When we're home, there's always so much to be done.  But today, I don't feel like doing much.  I even thought of going to the gym but later decided against it.  I just want to stay home, relax, and sleep through the sound of spattering rain.

What a day!  What a way to treat myself!

***

Photo:  Recycling and reprocessing an old photo.