For you, son...

Today, as I was sorting through Lucas' clothes, trying to put away the ones that will no longer fit, I found myself looking at his newborn clothes and be amazed at how tiny they are.  I couldn't help but wonder, "how on earth did he fit into these clothes???".

And then it hit me--my baby has grown!  And soon enough--before I even know it, he'll be a baby no more!  It's going to come faster than I have ever imagined, and somehow it saddens me.

There are times when I wish he could grow faster--that he could soon talk, walk and play.  But other times I wish he'll just stay where he is and just be my baby forever!

My dearest boy Lucas, you have no idea how very fond I am of you!  Your dad is too!  I wish you can just be my baby forever, but I realize you'll grow and thrive, and you should!  Do mommy and daddy a favor--when you're old enough to understand, know it in your heart that you are very much loved and cared for.  You are our most precious possession!

Do well, my son.  Do well...

Pandan on my Waffle

The sweet aroma of Pandan filled the house and woke my guests up early Sunday morning.  I love cooking on Sundays (and some Saturdays too) and this past Sunday I treated everyone in the household with Pandan waffles.

It was my first attempt at the recipe, which I got here, and I am very happy with how it turned out.  I ate my share without anything on it--no butter, no syrup, no whipped cream or any toppings whatsoever!  

Next thing I'll try to do is modify the recipe.  I like my waffles a little bit chewy so maybe I'll replace a portion of the self-rising flour with Mochi flour.  Then I might sprinkle the batter with a little bit of coconut flakes!  Hmmm... I can smell it already!  I can't wait for the weekend--KAON NA SAD!!!

You guys should try it!  If waffles are your thing and you like the smell of Pandan, I think you will like this! =)

Back On My Feet

In the last four months or so, our little world has revolved around Lucas.  Almost everything is about him.  We have adjusted our work schedules, we now carefully choose the places we go, the time of day we leave the house, our activities, even the food I eat!  Time also seems so short.  With work and the baby, there seems to be not enough time in a day to do all the things we are meant to do.  Like many others who have had kids, our life has drastically changed.  And there are times that I can't help but miss the life we once had--one that was still fast-paced, yet more unperturbed and stress-free.

I have to admit that on my first couple of weeks back at work, I wasn't really that focused.  Part of me wasn't back yet.  Everyday I worry about Lucas.  I had a lot of things to do at work, but I didn't feel like doing them.  Every once in a while I would glance at the clock and see if it was almost time to leave.  At exactly 5:30, I would storm out of the office and head home, and while driving I was so impatient with traffic--the kind of traffic that I had already been used to, the traffic that had already been a part of my day-to-day.  This wasn't me anymore, I wasn't myself!

Recently, I had to travel to our head office in Minnesota.  I wasn't excited for it because the thought of leaving Lucas made me very anxious.  Little did I know that this trip was going to change everything.  

And so I traveled and left Lucas with Charles and his "Nana" for three whole days.  Sure, I missed him a lot!  But it was also then that I realized how much I missed work and how much I missed traveling!  I missed the feel of flying, the convenience of a hotel, of king-size bed and ultra plush pillows that I don't have to share with anyone.  I missed going to the office and not having to drive myself.  I missed going to meetings and conferences and brainstorming with extremely smart people.  And as an added bonus, I got to sleep straight through the night and didn't have to wake up until my alarm went off in the morning!  YES!!!

The trip was very productive, and I came back feeling that I now have a lot of direction.  Now, my energy is on a different level.  I am myself again!  I am back on my feet and ready to face more challenges as they come!  

I no longer consider work as my main job.  It is now second to parenting!  Life after Lucas is the greatest and I don't want to go back to being without him.  But you gotta turn around and glance every so often and work has allowed me to do that.  It is an outlet through which I can get a glimpse of the life that once was--the life that I had before I took on the greatest of responsibilities.

_____________

Photo:  My sister trying on a pair of purple booties that I brought back from my trip and my nephew now starting to walk

In the Mood for Food

I've been eating a lot lately.  In fact, I've gained back almost half of the pounds that I lost in the past three months, while breastfeeding Lucas.

I crave mostly for food that I couldn't have when I was pregnant.  I'm usually not big on sweets, but lately I've been getting extra portions of desserts--ice cream, cakes, pies, brownies, and even stocked on diet soda and ice tea.  I crave for seafood--shellfish in particular.  I couldn't get enough of oysters--a favorite appetizer, or a warm bowl of clam chowder from Monterey.  And oh, how I'd love to have some of those crispy, spicy calamari from a Chinese place in San Jose--they make calamari so well!

I'm still three pounds shy of my pre-pregnancy weight, and thirteen pounds away from my ultimate goal.  But with an appetite bigger than my will to lose, such goal is becoming more unrealistic, or rather impossible.

_____________

Photo:  Kumamoto oysters in half shell--I like them raw or slightly warm from the grill.

The Mission

I love hearing mass at this old church called Mission San Carlos Borromeo de Carmelo, also known as the Carmel Mission.  Going here reminds me of home--of the old stone churches in Loon and Baclayon, Bohol.   This place has a different kind of solemnity in it that I just have not experienced from other churches here.

Built in 1770 in nearby Monterey, this is easily one of the most historic places in the country and is registered as a U.S. National Historic Landmark.   A year after it was built, the church was relocated to its current location in present-day town of Carmel-by-the-Sea.  This place was the site of the first Christian confirmation in California and holds the state's very first public library (source: www.wikipedia.com).

Unlike home, we don't see a lot of churches like this in California (or maybe I just haven't explored enough).  

This Little Town

I fell in love with this little town the very moment I stepped foot on it years ago.

This is where I dreamed big while staring at the vastness of the sea, and that dream has since come true.

This is where my first car got its one and only dent, when I was cruising along its narrow streets without paying attention to my driving because I was too captivated by its magnificent views.

This is where I first wished I had a nice camera so I can capture the clear blue skies, the ocean, the birds, the trees, and the romance shared by lovers at Lovers' Point.

This is where we buried my unborn nephew who, we believe, is now up in heaven among other little angels, and watching over us.

We frequent this little town called Pacific Grove not only because it is a short twenty minute drive from my sister's place, but because it is simply beautiful and captivating.  

And just recently, we found another reason to go there--this little town has a lot of little shoppes and boutiques that offer nice things at pretty reasonable prices.

In A Nutshell...

The past week flew by like a breeze, and this week is equally going fast.  My last few days have been very interesting, and I mean it in a positive way (hmm...some are not so positive).  

Lots going on, but here's how it's been in a nutshell...

• Finally went back to work with mixed emotions.  I am still getting over my parents' departure.  On the other hand, work got me distracted.

• It was so hard to leave home and Lucas on my first day back at work, but knowing Charles was there with him for the week made me feel a lot better.

• My boys bonded so well!  Charles said he is so glad he stayed home that week.  I think he is enjoying fatherhood a lot.  He seems very happy.  And I'm happy that he's happy!

• It was my first time to be away from work that long.  I thought it'd be strange going back and that I'd be terribly missing home.  But when I stepped in to the office, for some reasons I felt so happy.   I felt myself again!  I didn't realize how much I missed work and my colleagues.

• Oh and walking around the city, in my high heels, and not dragging a big fat tummy felt AWESOME!

• My job has evolved.  My new role is less Finance and more Product Management, which I like better.  I am very excited!  They are giving me a new title too!  I can only wish this change comes with more money, but I guess not.  But that's ok!  I cannot ask so much--not during these difficult economic times.  Heck, I'm just happy I still have a job!

• Finally found Lucas a nanny!  YIPEEEEE!!!  I just hope she works out (fingers crossed).

• My cousin J has gestational diabetes.  Although this was expected, I still feel sorry for her. I hope she can manage this with just diet, and not have to take insulin shots like me and my sister.  I am looking forward to her baby shower!

• Lucas cried the hardest for the first time last night.  I don't know if it was tummy ache, hunger, the many strangers around him or mere tantrums.  But whatever it was, it was enough to scare the hell out of me!  I tried to look composed and under control, but I was really worried sick!  By the way, it happened at my aunt's place when Lucas met his nanny for the first time.  My little dude made quite an impression!

***

Photo:  A dead anthurium at Gilroy Gardens, Gilroy, California