Back On My Feet

In the last four months or so, our little world has revolved around Lucas.  Almost everything is about him.  We have adjusted our work schedules, we now carefully choose the places we go, the time of day we leave the house, our activities, even the food I eat!  Time also seems so short.  With work and the baby, there seems to be not enough time in a day to do all the things we are meant to do.  Like many others who have had kids, our life has drastically changed.  And there are times that I can't help but miss the life we once had--one that was still fast-paced, yet more unperturbed and stress-free.

I have to admit that on my first couple of weeks back at work, I wasn't really that focused.  Part of me wasn't back yet.  Everyday I worry about Lucas.  I had a lot of things to do at work, but I didn't feel like doing them.  Every once in a while I would glance at the clock and see if it was almost time to leave.  At exactly 5:30, I would storm out of the office and head home, and while driving I was so impatient with traffic--the kind of traffic that I had already been used to, the traffic that had already been a part of my day-to-day.  This wasn't me anymore, I wasn't myself!

Recently, I had to travel to our head office in Minnesota.  I wasn't excited for it because the thought of leaving Lucas made me very anxious.  Little did I know that this trip was going to change everything.  

And so I traveled and left Lucas with Charles and his "Nana" for three whole days.  Sure, I missed him a lot!  But it was also then that I realized how much I missed work and how much I missed traveling!  I missed the feel of flying, the convenience of a hotel, of king-size bed and ultra plush pillows that I don't have to share with anyone.  I missed going to the office and not having to drive myself.  I missed going to meetings and conferences and brainstorming with extremely smart people.  And as an added bonus, I got to sleep straight through the night and didn't have to wake up until my alarm went off in the morning!  YES!!!

The trip was very productive, and I came back feeling that I now have a lot of direction.  Now, my energy is on a different level.  I am myself again!  I am back on my feet and ready to face more challenges as they come!  

I no longer consider work as my main job.  It is now second to parenting!  Life after Lucas is the greatest and I don't want to go back to being without him.  But you gotta turn around and glance every so often and work has allowed me to do that.  It is an outlet through which I can get a glimpse of the life that once was--the life that I had before I took on the greatest of responsibilities.

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Photo:  My sister trying on a pair of purple booties that I brought back from my trip and my nephew now starting to walk