Our Story

He and I met in the oddest of circumstances! We worked together in a small company in Cebu but we didn't meet until we were about to leave for the US to get some training--we met at the airport. Well, I was the one about to get trained. He was already going back and forth our Cebu and US offices working as a consultant.

Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined being married to him. When we first met and even after we became very close friends for a few years, we were dating other people. We were both in serious relationships--his was far more serious than mine considering that he and the girl had been together for about 15 years or so.

He was also not my definition of a "dream guy". I wanted somebody "European-ish", one who's tall, dark and sexy--the "maginoo-pero-medyo-bastos" kind of guy. He is Chinese, very fair and good-looking in a different way. He is very well put-together and diplomatic--not the kind I was looking for. But he is kind, smart, witty and never boring, and that was more than enough to make me fall for him!

We both moved to the US on a company-sponsored working visa. During the first year of our US existence, we lived together in a corporate house, shared the company car, went to the same workplace, ate together, traveled together and shared the same friends. We were away from our family, friends and support groups, and we only had each other. We were in an environment and in a situation that was very conducive to emotional attachment, and if I may say--"romance". To make the long story short, we fell in love!

It took a long time before he and I made our relationship official--I don't think we ever did until we got engaged. And this is because he was committed to someone else. Being with me was probably one of the toughest decisions he had to make. It was very hard on him. He did not want to hurt people, especially those he loved. He took a lot of risk choosing me and a lot of sacrifices in the process. Yet, he didn't get much credit for what he did.

Instead, some people thought he was such a jerk (pardon me for using this word) for what he did to her--for keeping such a lengthy relationship with her that ended up in nothing. But what he did was honest and fair to him, to her and to everybody involved. Yes, he may have hurt people in the process, but for once he did something for himself! He did what he felt was right! And just like everybody else, he deserves the freedom to choose especially when the rest of his life is at stake!

As for me--yes, I do sometimes feel that I am a bad person. I wrecked somebody's hopes and dreams and I stole somebody's future. But none of these things I meant to do! Someone once asked me if I feel sorry about what happened and if I should ask for forgiveness. Why? How can I be sorry for loving someone? I did not wish for us to happen--it just did. And if only one can choose how to feel towards someone, I would not have chosen to love him.

For what it's worth and if it's any consolation that is, he really did love her! His feelings for her was genuine and he had the noblest of intentions. I know that for sure because I have never seen him cry harder than he did when he broke up with her to be with me. I felt his pain. I felt his regrets. I was with him during those times when he could hardly comprehend how to forgive himself for hurting somebody he cared for. I understood and I hope she understood as well--that some things are just not meant to be! And I can only hope that someday, sometime in the future, she will come to know everything--that it wasn't as easy for him as some people may have thought, and it was no celebration for anyone, not even myself!

Today, I look at him and see how happy he is! We have a beautiful child--a testament of our love. It's a pity that we had to go through a lot of pain to get to where we are, but it's comforting to know that however great the pain you inflict upon yourself and others, something beautiful will come out of it--if, and only if, you follow your heart!