In Six Months

My Lucas turned six months old today. I can't believe it's been six months. I can't believe it's been that long. It seems only very recently when I found myself in that labor and delivery room working the hardest in my entire life, pushing as if my head was going to explode, throwing the last bit of energy in my body into what would become the most enthralling experience I have ever had.

It's been six months since I had Lucas and it's probably been the most interesting six months thus far.

In the last six months, I learned how big of a responsibility parenthood is--bigger than I what I had expected. In the last six months, I realized that lack of sleep can really break us. I've had instances of dizziness and disorientation, and even near accidents (I almost dropped baby once) all because of the lack of sleep. I used to take sleep for granted, sometimes I even considered it a waste of time. Now I think sleep is one of the best things you can do to your body and I regret those times when I had all the opportunity to sleep and I didn't.

In the last six months, I realized that some things we cannot do alone and it's ok to ask for help. I was lucky to have a very supportive husband and parents who never left my side during my first few months of being a mom. I could never have done it alone.

The last six months have been a roller coaster ride! I've never been more happy yet I've never been more challenged. I don't need to tell you all the details because most of you have been there yourselves and you know what I'm talking about. However, to me, the most interesting part of this journey is that while I get to know this strange little person in my arms, I am also getting to know myself more.

I know I need to work on my patience. I need to do better at prioritizing--at keeping a balance between family and career, and still have enough time left for hobbies and recreation. I need to work on giving Charles enough attention. Although he is not asking for it, I know how important it is to keep our relationship alive and in flames. Sometimes he talks to me and I appear to be listening, but my mind is floating elsewhere. I need to change this. I need to pay more attention to my family's needs. I need to be more efficient. I keep finding excuses for not cleaning the house, not ironing the clothes, not clearing my desk of its mess, not reviewing our household expenses, and other little things I have neglected to do.

I realize that I'm not superwoman, but I can still do better and I will. I know I will because I have the support of my family and I am motivated by all these new little tricks and moves that Lucas shows me every single day. Seeing him grow is my reward. Seeing him happy is my fulfillment!

Today, I celebrate not only my son's 6-month birthday, but also my own journey. I celebrate motherhood!

More of Lucas' 6-month celebration here.