Big Idea

It takes me an hour each day to drive 25 miles to work--an hour I spend thinking about what my day is going to be like.  Who I'll be meeting. What my priorities are.  Deadlines, deliverables and everything I need to accomplish at the end of the day.  Thinking about my day at the start of each one helps me get organized, focused and quick to respond in the event that things don't turn out the way they should.

On my drive back home, I think about how I'm going to spend the night.  What I will make for dinner. Will I have enough time to take Lucas [and myself] out for a walk (this rarely happened during the winter because it's normally dark by the time I get home).  How Lucas had been--how his day was and what, if anything, did he learn.  What to do after Lucas goes to bed--should I watch TV or one of my Netflix movies?  Should I just surf or blog or read other people's blogs and Facebook posts?  Most of the time, I think about sleeping early yet I always end up staying late.

For the most part, my life is made up of routines.  But lately there is one thing that I changed and that is the way I spend my commute hour to work. Instead of thinking about my work day, I think way far ahead--about my future, about what my life is like ten years from now.  I'd like for it to change a bit. I'd like to be spending more time with my son, yet still have a career.  I'd still like to be traveling a lot.  But maybe to different places every time, instead of going to one, cold and sad little town over and over again.

And if I may be allowed here to be bold and ambitious for a second, I'd like to see me working for myself.  Or working side by side with the hubby, running our own business.  Perhaps growing something that we started ourselves.  It doesn't have to be big, but it's ours. 

So how do I get started?  What's the big idea that can get me there?  One big idea--and that's all it really takes!  Problem is, I don't know what it is.  Hopefully, this one big idea will come to me one of these days.  Who knows?  Perhaps that one commute hour each day I spend ideating--it just might change my life forever!  Who knows...

:-)

Photo:  Lucas' colorful cups. They're so cute and the colors are so much fun, Lucas plays with them.

A Reminder to Self

I need to eat healthy.

I need to exercise more.

I need to get this big, fat bottom of mine off the chair and take a walk at lunch break.

I need to drink more water. Not soda. Not juice. Just water.

I need to sleep longer.

And finally...

I need to stop saying and start doing all these!

This Weekend...

... we have three birthday party invitations.  I think we can only go to two.

... my parents, my sister and my nephew are visiting.  I am very excited to see them again!

... I need to get a hold of an iPad (even for just a couple of hours) to test something out. Who can lend me one?  Hehe...

... I will finally watch Inception--the movie that confused yet amazed many of its viewers.

... Lucas will be missing swim class for the second time around (but he will be with other kids at a children's party, so that won't be too bad I      guess...)

... I need to rest, rest and rest. Yesterday, I had a really awful muscle and back pain.  I can't find any  possible cause but fatigue.

... I will be packing and shipping baby stuff to my brother.

... I will be with my family all the time!  Yoohoo! :-)

Happy Weekend, Everyone!

Changes

As I pulled the car into the garage that night, there was Lucas with his dad waiting by the door.  The little one's face gleamed like moonlight.  He was wearing his biggest smile.  And his eyes, looking even smaller than they are, smiled along as he giggled and called out "Mama!".  My little boy was welcoming me home once again.

A few days ago, I blogged about my new year wishes and one of them was to travel less for work and more for pleasure.  Well, so much for that!  Only two weeks after the new year, I was already out four days in a week working two thousand miles away from home.  I came home Thursday night and I had to fly again on Friday to throw a baby shower for a dear friend.

Lucas is growing up so fast and I worry that I'll miss out on a lot of his progress by being away that often.  I worry that he will learn something new and I won't see it unfold.  I worry that he will tire of waiting for me to come home and decide he won't wait for me any longer.  I worry that we won't be good friends because I am not always there to listen to him and teach him lessons.  He already missed swim class because I wasn't there to take him to the pool.

Sometimes I wish quitting work was easy.  Right now, it's not even an option.  And I don't know how much of the traveling I can cut.  I guess the best I can do is be there for him whenever possible.  When I'm not traveling, I want to be the first person he sees when he wakes up in the morning and the last person he sees before he goes to sleep.  No more TV, internet, hobbies and any unfinished work brought home until Lucas goes to bed.  He comes first before any of those.  I often find myself turning to my computer when Lucas is occupied, and I get so absorbed by what I do that sometimes I would hardly notice him come close.  He would just sneak up to me and say "Hi Mama!"  And oh, he now knows how to say "mama busy", and it breaks my heart every time he says that.

He is very quick to respond when I call out his name, as if he has always been waiting for me to call him.  He wastes no time running to me with open arms, and gives me a big hug and a squeeze whenever I ask him to come to mama.  He wastes no time even when he's in the middle of something--be it playing or flipping through his books, or watching his favorite show.  Why can't I do the same for him?  Everything else can wait, but my little boy doesn't have to.

Wishing

This year, I wish...

...that Lucas will eat more, drink more milk and stay healthy.

...that I will travel less for work and more for pleasure (I think this is the hardest to accomplish).

...for my sister to finally get her green card process started.

...to make more money (who doesn't want more money?)

...for more people to pay for my photographs.

...to go home to the Philippines.

...for a MacBook Pro.

...for a safe delivery of my brother's baby, and for a healthy baby too.

...to wear a bikini again and not be ashamed of it.

...to meet at least one of my cyber friends in person.

...for another holiday with my parents.

All of these wishes are achievable with discipline, hard work, prayer and a little bit of luck.  I hope to achieve even half of them.  But if God grants me all of them, then what a wonderful year it would be! :-)

***

Photo:  My mom believes in good luck.  So back home, she would have thirteen kinds of round fruit every New Year, supposedly for good luck and prosperity.  My sister carried that tradition, so this New Year she had thirteen different kinds of fruit--only, not all of them were round.

Celebrated

I wish we had birthdays instead of just a birthday in any given year.  I don't want this day to end, but in less than an hour it will be over whether I like it or not.

I've always enjoyed my birthdays regardless of how I spent them.  When I was younger, I always look forward to my birthday, but now that I'm older I don't necessarily do.  The thought of me aging somehow makes me sad.  But when the day comes, I find myself celebrating in one way or another.  Somehow, I or someone else finds a way to make it special.  I don't recall ever being alone on my birthday.  I always spend it with somebody I love.

Today, I was overwhelmed with greetings.  Don't you just love Facebook?!  I won't deny how much I am loving the attention. I know most of my friends probably just saw the reminder and took a few seconds to type in "Happy Birthday" and some wishes on my wall.  But the important thing is that they took a few precious seconds to do it and that alone, to me, is thoughtfulness!  Thoughtfulness that I so appreciate and I express my gratitude by also taking the time to say "Thank you!" to each and everyone of them.

Of course, I know of a few who always remember with or without a Facebook reminder and to them I'll always be grateful.

I think birthdays are important and should be celebrated.  It doesn't have to be fancy.  It can be a trip to church with somebody, sharing cupcakes with a few friends, lunch or drinks with a couple of colleagues or just a quiet dinner with family.

Today, I celebrated mine.  I started my day early at work.  My team took me out to lunch at a restaurant called The Stinking Rose (they have garlic in pretty much everything on their menu).  The restaurant staff sang the "Happy Birthday" song and called me a "Little Stinker"!  They had me blow what I would call "vampire candles" because they remind me of those candles I see in vampire movies.  I left work early and just played with Lucas while waiting for Charles to get home.  My family then took me to a nice dinner at my favorite local seafood restaurant, The Seafood Peddler.  They got me a cake too!  And it's huge for three and a half people (my dad is diabetic so he can't have cake).  The day ends with my late-night snack of Pancit and Puto-Maya, lovingly prepared for me by mom.

I thank God for such a happy day, for my little family, for my mom and dad who I don't always get to spend my birthday with.  I was graced with their presence today.  I thank him for all my friends and relatives who made me smile and touched me deeply with their thoughtfulness.  I thank Him for my dear husband who made quite an effort to make my day special and for my little beloved who tried hard to say "Bidday Mommy!" (Happy Birthday, Mommy) though he probably didn't understand what it meant.    Most of all, I thank God for 35 amazing years!  They were all so amazing that I wish God will double them and let me live through to 70!

I wish and pray for more birthdays to come for me and everyone I hold dear.