Presence

I normally don't talk about work here.  I try not to.  I don't like mixing work and personal life, and this blog is very personal to me.  But I thought I'd make an exception because I just want to jot down some significant learnings that I recently had.

I never understood what "Presence" really meant until I went to this Leadership Presence workshop that my boss nominated me for.  I've been trying to get into this workshop for 3 years now, but the company only sends 20 people to this course annually.  There is one course held every quarter with 5 people in each of them.  So it's a very small class, very interactive and the coaching is hardcore.  A few of my colleagues who have gone through this course before think it's nerve-wracking and know of at least a couple of people who went through it the first day and never came back to finish it.

It's literally a Presentation workshop.  We were videotaped almost the entire time.  On our first day, we were each asked to make an executive presentation.  After the presentation, we were critiqued and there was no holding back on the criticisms.  The instructor is not a nice guy, but he was AWESOME!  When he introduced himself to us, he said "I don't need to be nice because you are not paying me to be nice.  You are paying me to help you."

I received criticisms for almost everything--from the way I spoke to the way I looked -- the way I stood up, where I placed my hands, the way I gestured, the way I looked at people when I was presenting, my facial expression, my face itself -- my make-up or the lack thereof, and even my hairstyle.  I saw how it can be humiliating to some people.  To me, it was more uncomfortable than humiliating, and that was how it was supposed to be.  Key learning?  If you're getting professional help for professional growth, don't take things personally!

After getting feedback, I was asked to present again..... and again..... and again until I did it right.  And oh, the video review was most horrifying!  I could hardly look at myself on the screen.  My face looked like a mirror ball that reflected all the light in that room.  Key learning?  Never go in front of the camera without make-up.  Style your hair so not even a tiny part of your eyes are covered.  Wear something that makes you feel good about yourself, and it has to be comfortable.

The key to a successful presentation is connecting to the people you are presenting to.  Look into their eyes and talk to them as if it was a two-way conversation.  Once you establish the connection, your tone, enunciation, facial expression and gestures will just naturally flow, and you may not even know it.  But what if you are presenting to a huge crowd--say in a huge hall filled with hundreds of people?  Well, split the room into quadrants.  Randomly select people in every quadrant and connect to them.  Then the rest of the people will just connect to you.

Of course, the other key to a successful presentation is really knowing what you are talking about.

The two day workshop was a torture, but it was an awesome torture.  It was like getting a deep-tissue massage after a long laborious day -- you feel a lot of pain in the process but in the end you are changed, refreshed and renewed!

I would do this workshop again in a heartbeat.  It taught me not only about how to make great presentations, but also all about presence.  I learned that "presence" is not just being there, but it's leaving a trail wherever you go.  Presence is leaving a footprint or making an impact.  Presence is spending 15 minutes with a person you just met and after a year or so that person may not remember your name, but he will remember you.

It also taught me so much about myself.  I was stunned at the realization that there is so much about me that I didn't know.  I thought all this time that I had a really strong accent and that I say a lot of 'aahs' and 'uhmms'.  None of those showed.  I realize that I am sometimes too hard on myself and that I do not give myself enough credit for hard work.  I realized that I am insecure about my being in the minority and I often hesitate to assert myself because I feel "this isn't my territory".  I realized that I have a lot of great ideas but I just don't say them because I fear people won't like them.  But I also realized that if I don't present my idea, somebody else will.

I learned that if I want to be great, I need to trust myself more, have confidence and really believe in what I can do.  And just stop holding back and do it!