Happy!

Happy are those who dream dreams

and are ready to pay the price

to make them all come true!

{Unknown Author}

I believe that dreams do come true, if we only wish hard enough.

Today I learned that a dreamer's dream is coming true!

You know who you are, and I am so very happy for you!

The Best Love

The best love is the kind that awakens the soul;

that makes us reach for more,

that plants a fire in our hearts

and brings peace to our minds.

[From Noah to Allie in the movie The Notebook]

I can watch this movie over and over again and still won't get tired of it. This makes me think of what I want to do and where I want to be when I get old. And I hope that there will never ever come a time when the memories of my life leave me.

Can't/Won't Give Up

A few days ago, a friend of mine tagged me on Facebook.  I am supposed to list down ten things that I can't, won't or refuse to give up during this recession.  At first, I thought..."What can't I give up?  Of course, I can give up anything unnecessary and I will.  In fact, I think I already have!"  Hence, I ignored the tag.

Oh, I was so wrong.  I later realized that there were some things I could have given up, but I just didn't.  I don't think I can name ten though, but here's a few--

Starbucks.  We do have free coffee at work, and we have at least a dozen kind and flavors of tea.  We have cream, milk, half-and-half, refined sugar, raw sugar, honey and three kinds of sweeteners--pretty much anything we need to get ourselves a beverage without spending a penny.  But that trip to Starbucks just can't be saved--especially when I'm having a rough day like today.  And what's more--I ended up putting a refill on my Starbucks card since it's almost running out of funds.  Did I mention I'm supposed to be off limits to caffeine right now?  Tsk...tsk...tsk.

Dining Out.  I think I've done pretty well on this.  Lately, we've been eating home-cooked meals a lot more than dining out.  But sometimes, I just can't help but set aside the packed meal that I bring from home to join the colleagues for a nice Japanese lunch.  Or give in to my cravings for a big prime rib dinner at one of our favorite restaurants.  Since I don't like eating alone, I had to drag the hubby and make the excuse of..."it's been ages since we were last there..." or "we have to treat ourselves once in a while..."

New Clothing.  This is the worst time to buy myself new clothing not only because it's recession but because I know my size and shape will drastically change in a month or so, and maybe change again thereafter.  But when I saw a pair of my favorite brand of jeans go on sale, my hands were just itching to click on that "Checkout" button.  And i did.

Accessories.  I have a weakness for designer handbags and shoes.  I thought I did pretty well at cutting back on these since the last time I got myself one was last Christmas.  But very recently, this email from one online store I visit often just kept popping up showing this really modish-looking handbag that's just too painful to resist.  I had to get it, but I swore to myself that this is going to be my last splurge for the year... or until the next holiday... or until the next excuse comes up.  Darn it!

Lens.  How many do I want?  Lots.  How many do I really need?  Just one.  Well, I had an excuse to get it, but this still can't be considered a necessity.

La Mer.  My skin care regimen.  A friend of mine recommended this after I suffered from chicken pox.  I've been using this product for almost two years now and it's awesome, but I'm sure Oil of Olay or Neutrogena will do just fine.  The hub keeps telling me it's a rip off and so I decided to just finish my last bottle and then switch to a more reasonable brand.  I probably survived three days without it and found myself buying again on the fourth day.  I also ended up getting another product from their line.  Moreover, I now got my sister using it by giving her some samples.

So do I feel guilty at all?  Of course I do!  I know how to distinguish a want versus a need.  But some things have just become part of us, and although we can give them up eventually, it's going to take a fair amount of struggle.  And if I really have to [give them up], I'm sure I can--albeit gradually.

The Anticipation

At 31 weeks of gestation

Charles and I just graduated from a series of Childbirth and Childcare Preparation classes. At first I wasn't so thrilled about going, but my OB required it. We didn't go the classes offered by the hospital because my OB recommended a different set of classes--something supposedly better, something I wish every expectant mother will have the opportunity to attend.

Sarah McMoyler is one of the best (if not the best) in the field of Prenatal Education. We attended her classes called the McMoyler Method. She is the founder of this company and also the author of The Best Birth, a book on childbirth preparation. 

I have to say that I did not regret every single minute I spent in her classes. Not only did I learn what to expect and how to cope with labor and delivery, I also left the classes feeling more excited than terrified of what's to come. Charles, on the other hand, realized that his role as a partner is just as significant and difficult as it is mine.

I have always doubted my confidence and my ability to rear a child. I was constantly in denial of the many changes that this will bring into our lives. The thought of labor and delivery alone petrified me out of my wits!  But somehow, sometime recently--that has changed! I have learned to embrace all these possible changes--good or bad, challenging or rewarding. In fact, I now look forward to them.

I figured that there's more to look forward to than be afraid of--the anticipation of seeing the little one who has, for so many weeks now, been growing and moving inside my body.  Who does he look like?  Will he like us when he sees us?  Will he be a quiet baby or one who won't stop crying?  I can hardly wait for the big reveal!

I have to thank Sarah for somehow changing my frame of mind, and my OB for recommending her.  Most importantly, I thank my family for always being here, sharing my excitement and setting my mind at rest, reassuring me that everything is going to be just fine.  They are my frontline cheerleaders!

Tidbits

What a great weekend it was! We saw my family again--they came to visit to see how well I was doing. It's fun having them around and their visit always turns out to be one cooking and eating extravaganza!

***

Charles and I got ourselves a new lens. It arrived last week but I didn't get to play around with it until the weekend. I wished for a Nikon micro/macro lens but it's way too expensive. For the hobbyist in us, spending for this lens couldn't be justified. So we got a comparable one from Sigma instead, and I couldn't be any happier.

Within the same week or so, I learned that at least three people I know got lenses and photo accessories as gifts. I mentioned it to Charles and he couldn't help but joke about it: "How come we never get these things as gifts?" ;-)

***

My little nephew is getting bigger and bigger, but he is losing some of his baby hair. He can also now rollover and pretty soon this little guy is going to crawl. It's amazing how quickly they grow!

***

I just learned that I'm going to have a new boss--again! And this time, my new boss is a "she". She is my third boss in only five months, and she is my very first female boss. This unstable economy is already scary enough, and this constant change in leadership within our company isn't making things feel any better. I am interested to see how this goes.

Cravings

The Pinoy-style Barbeque (Pork skewers) was scrumptious!

The Pansit Bihon (Rice-stick noodles) was delectable and very filling!

One of the common questions I get asked these days is "what have you been craving for during the pregnancy?". Honestly, not one in particular. I just love to eat--pretty much anything I am used to eating, mostly Pinoy food that is.

During the early stages of my pregnancy, my appetite did not change much so I was eating like I normally did. Luckily, I did not suffer from morning sickness and didn't have any problems with food. Second trimester came and my appetite started building up. I started eating a lot and at times, almost went out of control. I probably gained the most of my pregnancy weight during this period, but I didn't care. I thought "Hey, I have an excuse to pig out! I'm feeding myself and the baby, and so I should eat as much as I could!". Right? Nah! If only I don't have a genetic history of Diabetes and Hypertension--two of the most common diseases known to set off labor complications, then why the heck not?

Unfortunately, I have to watch what I eat. Although I tested negative of Gestational Diabetes, my doctor thinks I have this so-called "Impaired Glucose Tolerance", a condition where my body does not release enough insulin at the right time to burn the right amount of sugar that I take in from food. I was asked to see a Nutritional Counselor, who gave me a strict low-carb/low-sugar diet that I have to follow through the remainder of the pregnancy. I also have to monitor my blood sugar by testing at least four times a day. Quite a hassle but has to be done.

The photos above were taken at a friend's birthday party. I love it when Pinoys throw parties here--there's always more than enough food and lots of variety. Everything looked good and I could only wish I can try them all!

When I'm Old and Gray...

While styling my hair this morning, I couldn't help but notice the strands of silver gray that were popping out amongst my thick black hair. I remembered being a kid, watching my mom look at herself in the mirror with tweezers in her hand, trying to pluck some gray hair out, sometimes asking me to help her.

I can't help but feel old. Here I am doing what I had watched my mom do several years back, and at this stage in my life I don't even have a kid looking at me or helping me do it. Sometimes I envy my mom. She has just stepped into her 60's but she has already witnessed a lot. She has been to places, she has watched us grow and start our own families, she has played with her grandson and maybe soon with other grandchildren as well! I think she has fulfilled what she set out to do in life, and sometimes I wish I can stop time so I can go back and follow her entire footsteps!

But as we all know, aging is a given. We age every single day whether we like it or not--there is no stopping it. But where I think we can make a difference is on how we make aging worthwhile, and here's where I start dreaming...

When I'm old and gray--

--I'd like to see Charles and I still very much in love, traveling the world, seeing places and taking photographs together.

--I'd like to see my child/children grow up to be independent, righteous, and successful in their chosen field. And I want to see them marry the men/women of their dreams.

--I want to be healthy enough to play with my grandchildren and celebrate their birthdays and special events.

--I want to be surrounded by good friends whom I can share laughters and pains with.

--I want to live in a house that is fully paid off and still have enough money to support a comfortable life.

--I'd like to be involved in an organization that is focused on helping others, especially children from struggling countries.

--I want my faith in God to remain strong and solid and shared by people I love.

--I'd like to remember everything that I went through in my entire lifetime, triumphs and failures alike.

Until then, I continue to dream and I pray that God will give me a life long enough to fulfill them all!

What's Mine is Yours...

Today we received our employee bonuses! It was a very pleasant surprise to everyone at work. We weren't expecting it after knowing that the past calendar year did not end very well, financially and in terms of achieving the company's overall goals.

However, despite the current economic turmoil, the layoffs and pay cuts happening in some areas of the business, the fact that the company did not meet its targets, and the uncertainty of what's unfolding in the coming months, the company still recognized that none of these factors affected the amount of time, effort and dedication that the employees have put in. In fact, some employees worked harder and more efficiently to allow the company to eliminate open positions and thus save some money. Hence, the company decided to release bonuses!

The sweetest thing about this whole experience though [and the one thing I love most about my job in Finance] is being the bearer of good news--being the one handing out bonus statements to the staff. There is nothing more heartwarming than seeing surprised, grateful people grinning from ear to ear! What a way to start the weekend, indeed!

So when I got my money, the very first thing I thought of was what to get Charles. I guess there are just way too many items in my wish list that I find it hardly possible to decide what to get for myself. If I wasn't pregnant, I would have definitely suggested going on a trip, but I guess a trip can be saved for later.

I thought about that watch he has been constantly checking out, or a new laptop (the one he's currently using is over five years old), or a new pair of shoes (but he just got himself a new one). I wasn't exactly sure what he really wanted so I decided to just give him the money. And I gave him an entire half of what I got. I guess that made him happy, but it made me even happier! Afterall, what's mine is his, right?

No--that's not why I shared. When it comes to money, Charles has always done the same. He has been generous and selfless. Every little or big thing he gets--be it a Christmas bonus, a tax refund or a cash gift from someone--he either splits it with me or uses it to get me something. Today, I am so glad that I at least have the opportunity to return the favor!

Woman

A friend of mine sent me this message today and I thought it's quite funny...

Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. 

So . . . . . . . . If you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit!

CHEERS TO ALL WOMEN!!!

Cold Blue Spring

It's officially spring, but it's been very cold this past few days.

The hub and I used to walk together after work, but we stopped the routine during the winter--we couldn't handle the cold. Yesterday, we decided to start walking again.

It was so sunny and bright so we thought light sweaters were enough to make us comfortable. After walking only less than a block, we realized it was too cold yet we were still determined to walk. So we headed back to the house, grabbed thicker jackets and hats and off we went again. But after walking nearly three blocks, we decided to quit. It was way too cold for us--we were in the low 50's and it was driving us nuts!

While I was driving to work this morning, the temperature registered at 38 degrees F. Right now we're at 54 degrees, so still no walking for me.

I am excited for real spring, when there's cold breeze but not overly chilly, when the sun doesn't set until past seven, when going out means getting greeted with green trees and colorful flowers, when brisk-walking feels more like a leisurely stroll than a painful exercise.  I am excited and so I'll wait.

A Truly Beloved Person

I first met Chichi when I started working for a company called AccountMate in Cebu. I was hired as a Product Consultant and Chichi was one of the big bosses of the company.

My first impression of Chichi was that of being "suplada", high and mighty, strict and not very outgoing--forgive me Chi for saying this. However, she is to me a living proof that first impressions are not necessarily correct and they never ever last because she has turned out to be just the complete opposite.

Though we were in the same company in Cebu, I didn't really have the opportunity to work very closely with Chichi until we both came to our US office at the same time. We lived in the same house, went to the same workplace, drove the same car, ate the same food, and shared a lot--a lot of experiences, a lot of good memories and problem-solving opportunities, smooth rides and bumpy rides alike, quiet times and gossip times, and in the process I learned how truly amazing and remarkable a person she is!

Chi, I have so much to THANK YOU for! 

Thank you for your continued friendship and support!

Thank you for the many words of encouragement that you have showered me with.

Thank you for introducing me to the blog world and to all the wonderful people who has reinforced my daily source of wisdom and inspiration.

Thank you for always sharing the challenges and triumphs of raising your boys--this has lessened my apprehensions of becoming a mom.

Thank you for showing me that life is always a happy ending despite challenging beginnings.

Thank you for always making me smile--Charles and I look forward to your entertaining blogs and stories everyday.

Thank you for all the wonderful memories we've shared.

Thank you for just being yourself--a cool mom, a role model, an inspiration, a cheerleader, and most of all--a wonderful, wonderful friend!

I've said this before and I'll say it again--you are truly a beloved person and you are irreplaceable in the hearts of everybody whose lives you've touched!

HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I wish you all the happiness in the world!

Engaged

{Finally able to photograph a diamond.  I've been challenged for sometime now.  

It didn't turn out as good as my wedding photographer's, but good enough for me.}

My little brother is now officially engaged. He proposed to his girlfriend, now fiancee, a couple of days ago. I helped him pick the ring (not the one pictured above), and he said she liked it very much! I am happy for both of them.

Soon I'll have a new sister-in-law. No wedding dates yet, but I'm very thrilled. I hope they decide to get married in the Philippines so we can all go home and have another fun and exciting family reunion!

Congratulations Richard and Hannah on your engagement! 

Cheers to new beginnings, 

more happiness 

and everlasting love!

Wonderful Gifts

These came in the mail today--lovely presents from Cindy and family! Seeing these gifts warmed my heart and made baby leap for joy--he really did move when I opened the box and exclaimed "hey, there's a gift for you, little guy!".

THANK YOU Cindy for your thoughtfulness and generosity! These are wonderful! We will for sure be using them a lot!

Fruit of the Vine

I crave for something sweet--mango ice cream, strawberry shortcake, tiramisu, key lime pie or egg tart! Yet I know I can't have them.

Yesterday, I felt the urge to have a glass of wine--or even just a sip. A colleague from out of town came and a few of us went out for happy hour. Yes, a pregnant woman in a bar was atypical and some people did stare, but I couldn't care less! What couldn't escape my senses though was the smell of wine. My friends were having red wine and the sweet, oaky, grassy aroma was just utterly inviting! I settled for cranberry-pineapple juice, which I've always loved. But yesterday, I was just miserable.

Why does our palate long for something we can't have?

For now, I'll have to settle with fruit. And not much of it too--just enough to satisfy my sweet tooth.

Home

Baclayon Church, Bohol

{An old photo--restored and reprocessed.  Trying TTV processing courtesy of Aileen}

When I was young, my mom used to enlist me to various singing competitions. I hated it, so sometimes she would bribe me into joining. The song "Home" is one of the songs I used to sing. Apart from it's wonderful message, it's supposed to be a winning song--nice melody, high pitch and it showcases the singer's ability to hit high notes. I won one singing competition with this song--a local one, of course.

Until now, this song has remained one of my favorites and I would sing or hum its tune whenever I miss home, whenever I miss Bohol.

When I think of home

I think of a place where there's love overflowing

I wish I was home

I wish I was back there with the 

Things I´ve been knowing

Wind that makes the tall trees bend into leaning

Suddenly the raindrops that fall have a meaning

Sprinklin' the scene, makes it all clean

Maybe there's a chance for me to go back 

Now that I have some direction

It would be sure nice to be back home

Where there's love and affection

And just maybe I can convince time to slow up

Giving me enough time in my life to grow up

Time, be my friend

Let me start again

Suddenly my world´s gone and changed it's face

But I still know where I'm going

I have had my mind spun around in space

And yet I have watched it growing

Oh If you're list'ning God

Please don't make it hard to know

If we should believe in things that we see

Tell us, should we run away should we try and stay

Or would it be better just to let things be?

Living here, in this brand new world

Might be a fantasy

But it taught me to love

So it's real, real to me

And I've learned

That we must look inside our hearts

To find a world full of love

Like yours

Like mine

Like home...

Weekend Journal

This weekend was wonderful--we got both sunshine and rain!

---

I started my weekend on Friday. Charles and I both took the day off and we, together with my parents who stayed with us for the week, headed off to my sister's in the afternoon. It was exciting to see my little nephew again!

---

I got a call from a nurse practitioner working for my OB. My glucose test results came back and I tested NEGATIVE of Gestational Diabetes! Yipppeeee!!! Thank God! There were four tests made within the 3-hour period. Yes, they did draw blood from me four painful times! I have to test positive on two out of four tests to be diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. I tested positive on only one--the rest were negative, which means I don't have it. The nurse however said that some doctors are so strict and would have the patient retake the test if at least one of the tests turn out positive. I hope my doctor won't have me do it again.

---

My sister and her family lives in a very well-kept community in Salinas Valley. Living there is like living in a park.  I took advantage of the nice, sunny day by taking a walk outside and shooting the flowers that abound the park-like neighborhood.

---

My always gracious and generous sister and her husband treated us to a nice day-out at Monterey Bay. She paid for our admission at the Monterey Bay Aquarium, one of the biggest in California. I've been there before, but it was the first for her and my parents. Everything in there were beautiful! I feel awful for the creatures for not being out there at sea, but at the same time they serve a great purpose of raising awareness among people, especially children, that they do exist somewhere--in a world that is just as beautiful as the land we live in. And we need to care for that world! It was reassuring to know [from my hubby] that most of the workers at the Aquarium are volunteers and their focus has remained the same over the years, and that is to raise awareness and help save the Ocean for future generations.

A Purple-striped Jelly (though it didn't look purple to me)

---

Our day in Monterey ended with a nice dinner, again courtesy of my sister at The Fish Hopper, a seafood and steak restaurant along Cannery Row.

A view of the Monterey Bay shoreline

---

Back in San Rafael on Sunday, a rainy day. I craved for something sweet, warm and Filipino. But it was too rainy to go out and drive to a Filipino restaurant--the closest is about 30 minutes away. So I decided to make 'Binignit' (sweet porridge) with sweet rice, mungo bean, yellow yam, tapioca and coconut milk. I wish we had banana plantain, but it turned out OK without it.

This satisfied my craving for a sweet, warm snack on a cold rainy day.

American Dream?

At the lab on Thursday while having my 3-hour glucose test, I started a conversation with the medical attendant who took my lab work...

I said: Are you Filipino? (I wasn't sure if she was Filipino. She kinda looked like Vietnamese too.)
She said: Yes. Are you Filipino also?
I said: Yes. Where in the Philippines are you from?
She said: Pangasinan. Ikaw?
I said: Bohol. Bisaya ako!
She said: Uuyy, Chocolate Hills?
I said: That's right! That's where I'm from.
She said: Matagal ka na ba dito? Magaling na ang English mo ah!
I said: Hindi naman. Eight years pa lang ako dito. Ikaw?
She said: Four years pa lang!
I said: Ah ok! Wala ka bang plano umuwi para mag-bakasyon?
She said: Ay wala. Hindi pa ako nakauwi mula nang dumating ako dito. Kung uuwi man ako, matagal pa siguro!
I said: Bakit naman?
She said: Mag-iipon pa! Wala pang pera! Naku, mahirap masyado ang buhay dito! Dios ko! Napaka-hirap talaga!
I said: Bakit mo nasabi?
She said: Basta! Ang hirap ng trabaho, nakakapagod! Sa bahay naman, ikaw lahat ang gagawa, walang katulong, walang yaya! Ang mahal ng mga bilihin, mahal ang renta! Kung bibili ka ng sasakyan o kaya bahay, utang lahat! Ang sweldo natin dito kasya-kasya lang. Kung magpapadala ka pa sa Pilipinas, kukulangin na talaga! Hay naku! Grabeh!
And she continued whining...
I said: Well, pareho lang naman siguro kahit saan.
What I really wanted to say: Well, why did you come here in the first place?!?!

I find it quite sad that some people think coming to America means living the ultimate, comfortable, effortless life!  I think wherever we are--in the Philippines or abroad, we have to work hard to make a living.  We have to make sacrifices to survive!  Moving to a different country entails dealing with a lot of changes, and I'm not only talking about moving out of the Philippines.  Moving in from elsewhere should be the same thing.  One has to adjust to the people, the culture, the climate and most of all a totally different way of life!

Moving to a different country is a life-changing event--one that has to be thought of several times before a decision is made.  If we are comfortable where we are, if we don't want any change, then why do it?  Why move?

I wonder if she knew or even thought about all these before she came here.  Unless she was forced to come here, then that might be a different story.  But I highly doubt it...